Monday, February 2, 2009
Bar Incident: Credit Card Clogs Toilet
Credit Card Fiasco Ends in Staff Spending Spree
by Amelia Sauter, Feliciated Press
ITHACA -- Plumbing specialist Ken Sanderson responded to a distress call at 508 West State Street in Ithaca last Thursday, January 29 at 7:51pm. Upon arriving, he found Felicia’s Atomic Lounge owner Leah Houghtaling plunging the women’s toilet without success. “Something unnaturally huge must be in there,” she reported to the official. “Or maybe a cell phone.” Sanderson, principal of Sanderson Heating & Plumbing & Refrigeration & LaRouche Fan Club & Youngevity Vitamin Supplements, attempted to snake the drain. Under pressure, the two finally removed the toilet from the floor which caused Sanderson to exclaim, “Now there’s your problem!” Houghtaling reached into the pipe and pulled out a dripping credit card upon which was imprinted the name “Amy Gonzales.” The crisis was averted and no arrests were made. Staff recovered from the incident by embarking on a spending spree with Amy’s card which only ended when the card was maxed out. “I really love my new ’57 Stratocaster,” supervisor Earl “Guy” Lorshbaugh IV stated. The credit card was thoroughly disinfected by a hazmat team before shopping. Amy Gonzales could not be reached for comment.